Condoms are a barrier method. They keep bodily fluids apart, thus providing protection against pregnancy and some STIs. This post will focus on condoms as contraception - for information on condoms and STIs, see this post.
Condoms and protection against pregnancy
When using condoms 'perfectly', you have a 2-3% chance of getting pregnant over one year of use. However, there are some common mistakes with condom use that mean that if you use condoms 'typically', the failure rates are much higher - all the way up to a 15% chance of getting pregnant over one year of use.
This is because people often don't use condoms very well. They do come with instructions - make sure to read them, even if you think it's pretty obvious.
I've put together a guide to condom use, which covers all the common mistakes I see people making. It's probably longer than you'd have thought! I suggest you take a read through it, with your partner if you have one, to make sure you're getting the full effectiveness out of your condoms. But first:
Being prepared before you start
- Negotiating condom use
Do I need a section on this? Where would it go? - Do some practice runs.
If possible, you might find it useful to try using condoms for manual or oral sex before you rely on them for contraception. That way it won't matter if you make mistakes, and you can be confident you know how to use them when it comes to PIV. - Getting the right condom.
The condom should be snug but not too tight. If the first condom you tried wasn't great then try another brand or type, they come in all kinds of shapes and sizes. Make sure the condoms have not passed their best before date, and bear the CE or kite mark which means they've passed quality control. (This is UK-specific, I'm afraid I don't know much about quality certification in other countries.) Heat degrades condoms so if you're keeping condoms for a while before using them, remember to store them somewhere at room temperature - car glove compartments and pockets are common culprits here. - While you're at it, get some lube.
You can get lube from any pharmacy, right by the condoms. Of the brands you're likely to find in Boots, I recommend Durex Play over KY Jelly. Most condom breaks are caused by friction. If there isn't enough lube, the condom is likely to tear, or stay inside the the woman when the guy thrusts out. Besides, lube makes sex more comfortable and fun for the both of you. You might not need to use it every time, but if you're using condoms you should always have some to hand.
Always use water or silicone based lubes with condoms (those would be the ones in the pharmacies). Oil based lubes such as food oils, baby oil, moisturisers and vaseline are not safe for use with latex condoms and can cause tears. - And get some emergency contraception.
One of the advantages of using condoms is that when they go wrong, it's generally pretty obvious at the time. This means that you can take EC as soon as you realise, which is great as EC is drastically more effective the earlier you take it. For this reason, it is often a good idea to buy EC before you need it. If you wait until it's an actual emergency, sod's law dictates that it will be a bank holiday or you'll get a snooty pharmacist or something when you really least want to be dealing with delays. Also, if you're not in a rush, you can EC for free from your GP or from a family planning clinic - whereas a trip to the pharmacy will set you back a minimum of £22.
How to actually use them:
- Bear in mind that condoms need to be used for ALL genital-to-genital contact.
You remember that 15% failure rate? this is a pretty big culprit.
If you're relying on condoms, you need to use them consistently. This means for ALL genital-to-genital contact. That means no 'just this once' or 'just for one second', or even genital contact with no penetration planned. ALL genital-to-genital contact. Got that? good. - Take the condom out of the packet carefully.
Beware of nails and rings! - Check which way it's rolled.
It's possible to unroll it for about a cm in the wrong direction, but then it gets stuck. If you unroll it the wrong way over your/your partner's penis, don't be tempted to just turn it over. This isn't something that's worth being cheap over. - Unroll it all the way down.
Make sure to pinch the top of the condom so that there's some space for the semen to go, or it may leak out of the bottom of the condom when the man ejaculates. Smooth it out from the tip to the base to get rid of any air bubbles, for the same reason. - You're good to go! While having sex...
...Use lube if you start feeling too much friction
...Replace condoms every 20-30 minutes if you're going for that long
...Stop if the man is going soft. - When the man ejaculates
Stop. Withdraw, making sure to hold on to the base of the condom. If you want to carry on having sex that's fine, but you need to use a new condom.
Carefully remove the condom, making sure to keep all the ejaculate inside it. Wrap and throw it in the bin. Do not flush condoms down the toilet.
Bells and whistles
Now that you've mastered the basics, let's take a look at some of the condom types out there! As you've probably noticed, there's a fairly baffing selection to choose from. I couldn't possibly hope to go through them all, so I suggest if you are confused by the various euphemisms and suggestions on the packets that you shamelessly pick them up and read the small print.
- Thickness
Thin condoms transmit sensation better for both partners, and are just as effective as other condom types.
Extra thick condoms should always be used for anal sex. They can also be used as a non-chemical way to dull the sensations for the man. - Polyurethane condoms
These are very similar to latex condoms, but a bit thinner and less stretchy, and thus take slightly more expert handling. They transmit heat and sensation better than latex, and are very useful if either of you has a latex allergy, or if you can't stand the smell of latex. However, there aren't many types - only Durex Avanti and Trojan Supra that I know of, so if you're looking for unusual sizes you're out of luck. I'm still waiting for the day when someone gets their act together and makes a whole range out of polyurethane. - Shape
Many men find that condoms with more room in the head feel better - some brands to look for are Inspiral and Pleasure Plus. If sensation for the man is an issue, you might also want to try putting a drop of lube on the inside of the condom. - Textured condoms
Some people love them, some people hate them, some don't feel much of a difference. Go ahead and buy a variety pack if you're curious, but don't expect them to transform your sex life! - Lubes
Lubed condoms are standard. Unlubed condoms can be found if you search around, but they're only really useful for easy clean up of sex toys, or by people who are very fussy about their lubes.
Condoms can come with all kinds of lubes. Not all of them are actually worth your money. - Spermicide (nonoxynol-9)
In short: do not buy these.
Spermicide is a method of contraception in its own right, however spermicidal condoms are pretty much only a marketing gimmick. They are intended to make you feel safer because you're using a second method of contraception, but in fact the amount of spermicide on a condom will not be enough to affect your protection should it break.
If you wish to use spermicide as a secondary method of birth control, it can be purchased separately from any pharmacy. Be careful though and test it out in a non sexual situation first, because spermicide is a harsh chemical which can cause pain and irritation to either or both of you. - 'Delaying' lube
These lubes actually contain a little anaesthetic, intended to dull sensation to delay the man's orgasm. Some people like them, however, others find that it dulls sensation enough for them to lose their erections (which is dangerous if you're using condoms for contraception), or that it dulls sensation for the woman too. It could be worth a try if you need them, but there are plenty of other options open to you if you're having a problem with coming sooner than you'd like. - Warming or tingling lubes
These are intended to add to the sensation for either or both of you. Some people love them, others find them irritating or even painful.
Remember that all of these lubes (and more) can be bought separately. This is often a much better idea, as you can find one you like and use it with whatever condoms work best for you in terms of shape etc. Plus you can put them on only one side of the condom which is often useful.
That's it!
Let me know if you have any questions.
